I could slap myself. It happened again.

I admit: I have a hard time deciding myself. Most of the time I don’t see the advantages of solution A to solution B. I can arrange myself with both, so why the hassle? Most of the time I let others decide — and luckily, there are some people around me that understand that whenever I say “I don’t care” I really mean it.

But sometimes, I don’t have anyone to decide for me. And then it gets difficult. Because most of the time, I will just wait.

I guess it’s a family thing, somehow. This is how decisions are dealt with. Do we need a new stereo? Let’s wait and see. Do we need a new car? Hmm … let’s wait. Wouldn’t it be time for me to move out of my parents’ house? Why don’t you … wait?

I heard it so many times, I have it hard-wired inside. Whenever I’m not sure, I will wait. Sometimes, it works. And sometimes, it goes completely astray.

One time, I discovered a parfume. It was called Bogner Wood — aptly named, as it only consisted of wooden scents. The thing was exceptional in every aspect. It was overdoing it completely. It was very warm, very sweet, very wooden, very heavy, very cozy … but somehow, I was hooked. I was tempted to buy it, but I had doubts. It was really very sweet, and I could imagine some raised eyebrows if I used it. Instead, I bought Bogner Snow, the one standing beside. Much more conventional. Much more safe. And I waited.

Winter passed. Summer came. Buying Bogner Wood in Summer was out of question. The fragrance radiated from the inside, you’d have been suffocated wearing it on a warm day. No thought of doing such a thing. This fragrance was to be worn in Winter, dressed in a nature-white coloured knitted turtleneck sweater.

Winter came again. I considered again. I had doubts, the fragrance was so strong, would that fit me? Just a drop on my wrist would accompany me the whole day, like a halo of coziness. I always liked the smell of wood, it’s warmness, but in Bogner Wood it came so distilled, so concentrated, so pure, it was almost overwhelming.

Instead, I chose KenzoAir, which probably is just as strong and has very clear wooden notes, but not as exceptional as Wood. I waited.

Spring came. Summer came. Autumn came. Late November. It snowed the previous days. And today, I decided. I wanted to have it, I wanted to have this halo of olfactory coziness.

So I went to the shop where I saw it originally. It was nowhere to be seen. I asked. They didn’t have it … but maybe just not stocked anymore. I should ask somewhere else. I did. In the fourth shop, they told me that it wasn’t produced anymore.

And for that I waited two years? Geez …

“Maybe I could show you something else?” The clerk showed me several perfumes, all from different brands that smelled all the same — in any aspect: not just not like Wood, but also in their breezy spiciness, that was so unlike to the warm touch of the no longer existing one.

This is not the first time my decisions are made just by letting the occasion pass. This is not the first time I regret not having decided faster.

Time will tell, they say. She sure does. Too bad she’s not on my side …